There is blood in the streets in the town of Chicago...*

Hola,

The Lodge has been closed for a couple months while I underwent yet another stressful life experience. This one happened to be the FDNY EMS Academy, and not the toughest school experience I've ever had, they did have a way of making everything tougher than one would expect (not to mention you were out of a job if you failed). I'm now stationed at Battalion 55 in the lovely South Bronx (159 st and Park Ave. to be exact. Stop by if you're in the neighborhood).

I had hoped that once I got out of the academy some of the stress and my accompanying anxiety would dissipate and I would sail smoothly into the world of EMS. Alas, my childlike naivete and sense of good-will-to-all deceived me with it's soothing coos and endearing puppy-dog eyes.

Where to begin? The work itself is great - I enjoy the challenge of walking into an unknown situation and pulling someone out, all the while trying to piece together what is going on with this person. This is harder than it might seem - misinformation, lies, memory lapses, language barriers and well-intentioned relatives are just some of the obstacles that come between you, the patient and a competent "presumptive diagnosis." A 14 year old girl with a stomach ache is 4 months pregnant and doesn't want to tell mom; a baby hasn't had a bowel movement in 2 days but the parents only speak Spanish and your partner assumes that since he is sleeping with a Latina, he can translate what the parents are saying accurately; a guy walks away from a car crash but is acting like a maniac - is it because of a head injury or is he just wasted? These situations are a blast to sift through - weird as that may sound, it's true. Not to mention the adrenaline rush of being en route to a hospital and having a 13 year old head trauma victim (note to parents: roller blades aren't good) stop breathing, her grandmother wailing "she's dead! she's dead!", her 2 year old sister bawling and you alone to get some oxygen in this girls lungs, get grandma to shut the hell up and get sis laughing with silly facial expressions. It's indescribable, you go into a zone and when it all works out (the girl ended up being OK) the feeling afterwards is great.

But all the while you're dealing with these new and stressful experiences, there is unexpected bullshit that pops up in order to remind you that, even though you love what you're doing, it's still a job.

1. The people you work with.
Now, I've met some cool folks in the station, and I've met some real assholes. Which do you think I'm gonna write about? (Allow me to quote Paul Westerberg here, because I think he said it best:
The ones who love us best/
Are the ones we'll lay to rest/
And visit their graves on holidays at best/
The ones who love us least/
Are the ones we'll die to please/
If it's any consolation, I don't begin to understand)

Besides the usual frat boy "hey rookie, you even seen a piece of pussy before?" crap, one of my mentor's is a nut job. Psycho Smurf has, in no particular order, told me I need to go back to the academy because I don't know anything, I'm disrespectful, I have a problem working with women and that she thinks the mentor program is a piece of shit and you should know everything you need to know when you come out of the academy. Need I say more?

2. The Isolation.
Time and experience has taught me that it really is in your best interest to keep the people you work with at arm's distance. For the most part, it seems to me that most people in their respective work environments are out for number 1 and the chances that you are actually going to make any real friendships is pretty slim . Many people navigate this predicament by having a somewhat full social life, but what do you do when you work nights, your days off change each week and when you have free time most of your friends are working? Frankly, it gets really lonely. When I get off of work, sometimes I want to talk to someone who isn't either sick, injured or wearing a uniform and just shoot the shit for a little while and relax. When I get off of work, most people I know are going to bed. Look, I chose this life, that's all on me. I guess I just didn't see this element of it coming.

Alright, my time is running out at the web cafe (next weeks instalment: my deadbeat roommate and why I won't get broadband with him). Catch you next time.

*FUN CONTEST: See the title for this post? Tell me what song this lyric is from (hint: It's the song that was playing on the radio while I got my ass out of bed to appease the alternate-side parking gods) and you win a gold star for the day.